Pat and Prem Kumar family
Subtitle
Background – Numpa
Numpa (he was called Natarajan) was born in 1895 at Palayampatti, a village in Tamil Nadu,
Here is a photo of Numpa carrying me when I was nearly one year old in 1941:
Numpa was a tall well-built man with grey hair. He wore a dhothi (a long cloth wrapped round the waist), a vest and, when going out of the house, a short-sleeved shirt and a small towel over his shoulder.
He always wore white “khadhi” - this is rough hand-spun cotton which Gandhi encouraged Indians to wear to support home-made products, because in the 1930s and 1940s most Indians wore machine-made clothes spun and woven in the cotton mills of
Even though Numpa’s education did not extend beyond high school, he read a lot and was very much a practical philosopher. He was always a source of comfort to his wife and daughters during difficult times. He was deeply religious and knew by heart all 700 verses of Baghavad Gita (which is regarded by many as encapsulating the essence of Hindu philosophy - see explanation in appendix at the end) and recited these silently every day. During the time of the silent chanting he would be so absorbed with this that he would be oblivious to anything anybody (including his little grandchildren who might be moaning about the long wait for the bus under the scorching Indian Sun) said. Perhaps I have inherited this trait from Numpa as Pat used to say that, if I was absorbed in reading a good book, I would be totally oblivious to the mayhem around me.
In his younger days Numpa used to play tennis and he always kept up his interest. His favourite player was the great Australian champion Roy Emerson who was reputed to be the fastest on court and I think to this day holds the record for winning the most grand slam titles (in addition to singles, he played a lot of men’s and mixed doubles); here is a photo of Emerson:
Background - Aachi
Aachi (she was called Meenammal) was born in 1897 at Aruppukottai, a small town in Tamil Nadu,
In the 19th century many Christian missionaries travelled to India from Europe, aiming to convert the idol-worshipping Hindus to Christianity; the missionaries believed that the souls of the converted Indians would thus be saved. Most people in the Aruppukotai area were steeped in the Hindu religion (which is a way of life, as with the Jews). In accordance with the traditional way of life there at that time, the men went out to work, and the women looked after the home and raised the children. The missionaries (which would have included the converted Indian Christians with missionary zeal) reckoned that in this set-up it would be difficult to convert the men or whole families but that it might be possible to start the conversion process through the women. Therefore, they visited the women whilst their husbands were at work and, using very persuasive techniques (which would have included giving help to the needy, such as comforting sick people), succeeded in converting large numbers to Christianity.
However, the men were either oblivious to or turned a blind eye to the wholesale religious conversion taking place in their homes. A number of these women subsequently succeeded in persuading their husbands also to convert to the new religion, but large numbers went on pretending to be Hindus and practised Christianity without the knowledge of their husbands, eg, going to church before their husbands got up in the morning and reading the hidden bible only when the husbands were safely out of the house, because they were afraid of the consequences if the husbands found out about the secret conversion. This secret practising of Christianity was almost invariably passed on down the female line!
Aachi’s mother was converted to Christianity in this way, and the secret practice was duly passed on to Aachi, so that she was at heart a devout Christian when she married Numpa. However, in the traditional Indian manner, she believed that a wife should follow the path chosen by her husband in every walk of life. The young wife decided to confront the problem head-on. She explained her dilemma to her husband and asked what she should do. He wasn’t going to make this easy for her, as he told her that she should do whatever she believed was right! After much heart-searching she decided that her religious belief should be the same as her husband’s. So, she went back to him and requested him to give her the necessary instructions so that she could become a good Hindu. He gave her some suitable books, recommended her to read them and then decide if she wanted to be a Hindu. Aachi duly learnt about the religion and then became a Hindu. After some time the young woman raised the subject again with her husband by saying “I do believe in the Hindu gods; but when I meditate, the face I see is that of Jesus Christ: what shall I do about this?”. Numpa replied philosophically “you don’t need to do anything because after all Christ was also an incarnation of the God on earth”.
Aachi used to enjoy singing aloud devotional songs but mostly out of tune! Her cousin Natarajan (who later became her son in law – that is a different story) would tease her mercilessly and call her an “Anakeena” (half-Christian).
Aachi was a competent seamstress and made most of Numpa’s clothes. She was a perfectionist and a hard task-master with all work-men. She took pride in keeping the home spotlessly clean. The open-fire kitchen stove was decorated with intricate kolams. Kolam or rangoli is a spiritual art form which has been widespread all over
However, surprisingly for an Indian wife/mother especially at that time, she could hardly cook; she even used to buy idlies for breakfast; she only cooked one meal – rice and sambar (simple vegetable curry) for lunch which was always eaten at
Married life
Numpa and Aachi lived a very simple life; they never owned a car and the house contained little more than “the bare necessities of life”. Aachi was an autocratic mother and imposed strict discipline on their two daughters – Kamala (Periamma) and Gnanasundari (Amma - my mother). From a very young age the girls had to help their mother with the household chores. It used to be the custom for children to have their heads shaved several times during childhood, because this was believed to result in the hair growing thicker; however, Numpa did not believe in this and flatly refused to allow any such shaving to be carried out on his daughters’ hair.
The great sadness in their lives must have been the tragedy relating to their beloved little daughter Singaram. When Kamala was about three years old and Singaram was one (before Gnanasundari was born), both of them contracted chicken-pox at the same time. Numpa was then away in Mumbai, and a telegram was sent to him informing him of his daughter’s untimely death, without specifying which daughter. The news threw him into such a state of shock that he immediately returned home without any of his belongings (including his wallet). On entering their house, as Kamala ran over to greet him, he joyfully picked her up and was relieved that his cherished eldest daughter was alright; this helped to soften the blow of losing Singaram.
Early memories
My earliest memory of Numpa and Aachi is of the time when as a little boy of seven I stayed with them for two weeks at Palayampatti. It was a very important time because
There were lots of speeches, loud music and some dancers inside artificial horses (a bit like pantomime horses). I can also remember some men walking over burning coals without getting burned, which seemed like magic.
Numpa and Aachi lived in a 2 storey house with a flat roof-top where Numpa kept pigeons in little houses like dovecots. I also remember a mongoose running in and out of the house – he was there to keep the snakes away! Here is a picture of a mongoose getting ready to attack a cobra:
I was really scared of going to the toilet which was in a little wooden hut at the rear of the house, and you had to poo into a bucket – there was no flush and the village toilet cleaner came each morning to empty out the bucket. It was of course very smelly and attracted scavenging pigs, and that’s what made me scared of going!
The house did not have any running water, so all the water had to be carried in pots from the village well. To have a bath, the women used some of this water in the house, but the men went to the well which was in the Nandavanam (a park with lots of trees). I have happy memories of walking for my bath with Numpa. Sometimes he would suddenly say “listen, that is the nightingale singing”! The nightingale has got a beautiful song – we have them in
Perhaps in order for Numpa to do his job better (the insurance company for which he was an agent had its office in Madurai) and also to live near Periamma, in the early 1950s Numpa and Aachi moved to the big city of Madurai which is about 40 miles from Palayampatti.
They lived in a small house in the centre of the city. You had to go through small, noisy and congested lanes to get there but inside it was a calm oasis. When you entered, there was a small yard with a tree and plants with flowers (bougainvillea was Numpa’s favourite flower), which was open to the sky at the top; birds would often perch on the climbing plants and twitter. As you went inside, a small hall accommodated a bench and Numpa’s rocking chair which was his favourite seat. There were 2 small rooms which could be reached from the hall; the front room led into the kitchen. There was also a small room on the first floor which would catch the cool air during the hot stuffy Summer months.
Here is a photo of Numpa and Aachi probably taken in
During the school holidays my sister Maheswari, brother Mohan and I used to spend some time at Periamma’s lovely large house which was just outside the city. Then Numpa and Aachi would sometimes visit us and we would have good family get-togethers. We often played games such as chess, carom and cards. Whilst Numpa would often give in to gladden a child’s heart, Aachi always played hard to win! I remember well one occasion when my siblings and I were sitting on the floor with Aachi; we asked her which one of us she liked the best. In her blunt manner she said “Prem is the favourite as he is the first-born and second is Mohan as he is a boy!”.
Sometimes Numpa would take me to the cinema. I remember that once we went to see a Tamil film in which the hero was a railway engine driver. So, we got to see a lot of trains – departing, arriving, chugging along, speeding away etc. After a couple of hours of this (most Indian films go on for at least 3 hours!) Numpa got so fed up with looking at train after train that he said “if one more train appears on the screen, we are going home!”. Well, we did get more trains but I persuaded him to stay on till the end as I have always loved watching films. Here is an old Indian steam train:
Here is a picture taken in a photo studio of Numpa with his three grand-children (I am the eldest) in about 1956:
For that occasion I was wearing a dhothi which had belonged to my great grandfather (Numpa’s father) who had lived to the ripe old age of 105. So my siblings ribbed me that such a fate awaited me too, and I playfully responded that I fully intended to match that!
Maheswari lived with Periamma in
Final memories
After I finished my degree course at
I remember well the night in 1964 I went to sleep in the verandah outside his hospital room, and was woken up just before he died. His death made a big impression upon me; I was very sad but also kept thinking of the happy times spent with him.
The Hindu custom is to cremate the dead body and it is the duty of the eldest son to light the funeral pyre. As Numpa only had 2 daughters, it was decided that, as the eldest grandson, I should do this. So, in the morning we walked over to the Vaigai river in which we bathed and then over to the burning ghat with Numpa’s body. The funeral pyre had already been set up and we placed the body on it. Then I set it alight and walked away without looking at the pyre as I was required to do. Finally all the family and friends walked back to Periamma’s house and had something to eat.
Thinking back, the ceremony was a simple one befitting a gentleman who had chosen to live a simple life. Though some of us closest to him did cry and Aachi was quite inconsolable, there were no histrionics. The pre-ordained events took place in a very dignified way, and I felt that the final rites constituted the natural course of events.
Unfortunately I saw little of Aachi since I left
My impression was that she had never established a close relationship with her two daughters who were bosom pals and almost invariably presented a united front. I guess that, when Aachi was widowed, both her daughters invited her to stay with one of them. However, despite deteriorating health in subsequent years and very modest personal resources, she remained fiercely independent by living alone and looking after herself as best she could, until she passed away in 1983.
I remember Numpa and Aachi with a great deal of love and affection.
Appendix – Baghavad Gita
Baghavad Gita is one of the three main scriptures of Hindu philosophy, and is contained within the Mahabharata (100,000 verses) which is one of the two great Hindu epics (the other being the Ramayana). Mahabharata narrates the story not only of Lord Krishna on Earth but also of the epic struggles between the 5 Pandava brothers (the goodies) and their first cousins, the 100 Kaurava brothers (the baddies); these struggles could be seen as the good and bad tendencies in human beings. In the climactic battle between the Pandavas and Kauravas,
Prem Kumar
March 2008